this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
