My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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