when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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