she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
BRING THE BAGELS
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
