STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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