she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We have started to decorate penises.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
