Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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