this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
