Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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