Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
