Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
