Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
