Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
