Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
