i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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