is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
