no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Alive.
So much puke
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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