Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
