Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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