i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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