Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
