Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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