i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
