Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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