that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
