Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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