I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
