thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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