Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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