went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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