you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
