So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
