my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
