I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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