That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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