In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
