Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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