i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
