Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
