I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
