did you get engaged???
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
