as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
