ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
