can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Bring me that man meat
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
