In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
