Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
