you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
