I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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