You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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