i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
