My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
